you were so squishy! we were outside 7-11.. you really pinched me hard by the side.. ouch!
when i put my arms around you.. ooh the feeling.. how i missed that.. and your eyes.. always cant be seen.. haha
our picture at sentosa.. why do i look like that? but you look so cute! like a beauty and a beast!
thats not cute!
the first ever picture i took with you.. after a bad bad water fight.. didnt expect us to be a pair eh? haha..
i was supposed to marry you..
laughing in the mrt.. haha the first day we wore the same shirt! the shirt i made for you..
hehe.. you pinned your hair.. adorable!!
my love for you.. please keep it..
our bus journey back to your house.. first picture on a bus!
oh man.. didnt noe there was a limit to the number of pictures i can post.. still lots more to fill.. hey my dear ying shan.. sorry i had to leave ya.. but be strong alright.. dont be so wilful.. you'll always be that adorable lil cute girl in my heart.. thanks for always being there to light up my path..
you've teached me new things too.. i learnt to love myself.. as much as i loved you.. i got to noe that the world is full of beautiful things.. especially when i held your hand.. those moments were fabulous..
is there really no everlasting love? those fateless moments we had.. remembered how i missed the buses everytime when i wanted to catch you.. the night i was so worried about you.. you left on the mrt.. perhaps its actually not because we didnt had much fate.. but because i was too slow and lousy.. have myself to blame only..
i dont blame fate.. cos i noe.. thats how we got together in the first place.. moments with you were all unforgettable.. i wanna let you noe.. all the memories we had.. i shall never forget..
i love you.. i really do.. but maybe these three words were said too often that it really lost its true meaning.. really hurt you alot.. all that you had given up for me.. i appreciate..
read your blog in tears.. fate really didnt gave us a chance when our calls didnt met eh.. the pretty lady beside me.. i still love you.. but its tough to fix a broken heart.. let time heal you..
get over me girl.. its not worth holding on to something meaningless.. theres a whole new world out there.. you can find a better guy.. and when you do.. do not turn back and shout for my name.. by then.. hold on to the guy.. for at least that lucky person.. he'll be able to give you something i cant give to you..
take care my dear..
just so you know ! 6:56 PM
thanks for everything that you have given me.. all the laughters.. the giggles.. the hugs.. the kisses.. but you know as much as i do.. it all had to end..
im sorry for being a lousy boyfriend all the while.. but you must noe.. you were the best girl ive ever known..
one year had passed so quickly with all the wonderful things falling in place.. do you still remember how i fell for you? it was your hair.. haha.. it never fails to catch my attention.. 3rd october wasnt it? i told you about how i felt.. you were such an idiot to run away.. you made me so nervous you noe? haha.. after more than a month.. i finally took the courage to speak up to you.. and i was glad.. you did not turn me down.. that day.. it was 19th november.. exactly a year ago.. so you see how fast time actually flies?
very unexpectedly.. we did have many ups and downs though we didnt quarrel.. we always had our parents in the way as well as our different schedules.. i wanted so much to tell you how i wished i could spend just one day with you.. only you.. but i understood how much you would enjoy more with the others around.. so i kept quiet.. maybe i should have been more honest.. but i know somethings are best left unsaid.. perhaps now you noe.. haha
it was last december right? we went for yaoting's chalet.. but got stranded out the night before and gotta make do with the beach? that night i still remembered.. how you applied the tiger balm for me when i had a tummy ache.. i felt so much better after that.. i also remember we spent the night at the stone ground there to look at the ships.. how i wish that night never ended..
oh ya.. till now you still got the angel pendant i got for you on christmas dont you? that was meant to remind you of me when im not around eh? was so anxious when i bought the present i even got help from joyce and hwan.. haha.. im not a good guy when it comes to choosing such things for girls..
then soon.. it was my birthday.. bloody hell you.. trying to cheat me ah? you went through so much just to give me an unforgettable birthday gift.. no other girls had ever done this for me before.. and i believe.. no other girls will ever do this for me again.. the wallet.. im still using it.. although its got a lil bit of a tear already.. but its significant to me.. it still has your picture in it(:
valentine's day followed.. man how hard we tried to please each other.. you still got the shirt dont you? so do i.. well.. i still keep the flute bag that you made for me.. and i got the failed one too! haha.. must have took you lots of hardwork ah? but i noe you did everything out of love.. and the chocolate heart.. man.. was i heartbroken when i realised it cracked.. spent the whole night trying to patch it up and finish the shirt..
your birthday was next! this time.. it wasnt last minute work.. wanted to give you a surprise but noe that the 'im sorry i did not buy your present' trick was used by you already.. guess no surprise! haha.. saw the musical ball a long time ago.. wanted to add some more sweet nothings inside.. haha.. you should have eaten them all by now? went all around just to find the exact one that i wanted to give to you.. i hope you still have it with you and will always do..
then you had your camp challenge.. missed you badly.. but was glad that you girls came up top in north d..
thanks for being there to support me for both my champs challenge and also there to share the joy with me.. you've taught me to persevere through the toughest situations.. which made me who i am now..
i still remember the egg that you tried to fry for me.. it was so loving.. although i couldnt eat it but i felt it.. must have took you lots of courage to steal an egg from ur mum and fry it.. haha
very soon.. today came.. you looked so pretty.. finally get to see you wear a skirt again.. you look better in it.. took me by surprise when you appeared from the mrt station.. haha.. and you were the only one who would always tell me 'hey! nice hair!' when the others will always think it sucks.. haha although i noe deep inside you must be thinking.. 'alamak.. why you cut until like that' right? sorry not everything can be on me.. anyways.. we did had a very nice time at the zoo didn't we? this is i think the 2nd time i came there? haha.. but my first time with the girl i love.. was so tiring la.. so many split roads.. too bad we cant cover them all.. took a couple of pictures but sorry i look ugly.. the animals all look so nice dont they? i especially liked the otters.. the way they are.. it makes them so adorable..
had an ice cream before we left to vivo city.. was relieved to have already booked the tickets after seeing the crowd there.. oh my.. its so bad of us to sneak outside food into the theatres! wahaha.. but the show was.. fine? didnt really make me jump out of my seat.. as i said.. i can be the director already..
then you told me you wanted to go find joyce and hwan.. sorry for throwing tantrums.. at tt moment i just wanted to spent the time with you and just you.. walked around the same place over and over again.. just trying to buy time.. then we wanted to settle for a place to eat but couldnt find one.. you got the things you wanted to give me from joyce and hwan.. and pulled me outdoors..
hmm.. when you showed me the food you made for me.. its so heartwarming.. but i noe.. at the bottom is something.. and its a ring.. something just tells me that im right.. then.. i came to think of wad am i going to do with it.. or more specifically.. wad am i going to do when u put it on for me.. but when i saw the letter you wrote for me.. all the memories flow back.. i think about the many times my feelings for you had faded.. and wad you did for me and how i tried to hold on.. i thought about wadever i did was the right thing.. well.. it really took alot to make a hard hearted guy like me shed tears.. perhaps thats wad you wanted.. i cried.. yes i did.. because i felt i was not worthy enough to be with you.. the things that i do for you are incomparable to those that you did for me.. i couldnt felt any more worthless.. you were smart enough to get the correct ring size for me.. but.. im sorry i couldnt accept it.. you should understand why.. when i clutch the ring into your palm.. you read my mind.. thanks for being understanding.. you left without saying goodbye.. tears flowed.. its been so long since i cried so badly.. when you left.. i felt empty.. lonely.. many couples came walking by.. perhaps its my retribution.. for a moment.. i thought whether my decision was right.. but i knew i gotta do wad i gotta do.. sorry if it was too harsh.. i thought.. maybe this was the best time to tell you..
the rain came down very soon.. i was caught in the midst of it.. phone calls came.. messages came.. but i didnt have the courage to pick up anyone's call.. perhaps i needed time too.. i then realised.. where will you be.. quite some time had passed before i realised that.. ee hwan's message came which asked about you.. i got scolded too.. but i know i deserve it.. i ran for the mrt station.. only to find myself stranded at one of the carparks.. by the time i got there.. perhaps it was too late already.. you would have left already.. i tried calling you.. messaging you.. but to no avail.. i was worried.. very.. i just needed to hear from you.. that you were alright.. that you wont do anything foolish.. your mum called.. i was scared.. did something happened to you? i called her later and told her that i lost you.. she was anxious i could hear.. but i promised her you would be back safely..
i ran back to vivo and to the top storey.. all around.. it was pitch dark.. the rain was still going.. kinda dramatic.. keep feeling that you were around.. only to realise i saw the wrong person.. i almost break down until i saw ur mum's reply that you came home.. please girl.. i noe ive done you wrong.. and that the hurt i brought upon you is unbearable.. but please.. forget me and lead a new life alright?
19th november.. exactly one year.. this one year.. that ive shared with you.. were the best moments of my life.. but we all noe its gonna happen.. and now that it did.. please dont feel sad alright? stay happy.. find a better guy who is many many many times better than me.. im not worth ur love.. and dont be that stubborn lil girl again alright? and i like it when you wear skirts.. you look cute..
im sorry i couldnt marry you and fly with you on a plane.. the promise i made to you.. i have to take back.. im totally sorry.. yes.. im a bastard.. im a liar.. im an asshole.. im such a fucker.. wadever i do.. i noe it cant heal you.. if only time could go back.. but that wont really make a difference anymore.. im sorry.. really..
happy one year.. im sorry it had to end this way..
just so you know ! 3:19 PM
Regional Champs Challenge..
it was a very enriching and wonderful experience for me.. kfc competition? haha.. didnt thought that there would be such a competition.. it may seem so extraordinary or wierd and funny to many.. but to me.. its gonna stay with me for my life.. i had gone through so much just to see myself participating in this event.. remembered how i used to tried to bluff my teachers so that i could go for training but always got found out.. somehow or rather.. haha.. so sorry mrs quek and ms ong for skipping your lessons this week.. maybe you will understand why i sacrificed so much just for this competition after reading all these..
it was around 2nd week of may? yep.. received a call from azhar(manager at tanjong katong kfc).. he told me that he wanted me to play in the national champs challenge(ncc).. it was a competition among the different kfc areas in singapore.. what can this competition be all about? some may thing its just about cooking chicken or making burgers.. ya you guys arent wrong.. but its also about the sweats.. the cuts.. the burns.. the scoldings.. the endless trainings.. the sleepless nights that we had to endure with.. you see.. we had to go for perfection.. and what could be worse.. the competition was at 7th june if im not wrong? so that means we only had 3 weeks or so to train and perfect everything when other teams had already started early in february or even last year.. we had a very tight training schedule and that means i had to rushed to tanjong katong kfc most of the time after school.. was tiring but worthwhile.. i didnt do well for both day of the competition.. on the second day night was the release of the result.. we had a dinner at sakura nana restaurant.. none of us won any prize and only ayu got in the national team.. that night i went back to store with sim siong.. and i cried.. real bad.. it takes alot to make me cry.. so you must have known how important the competition was for me such that it could make me cry.. and worse was that i felt i've let ayu down.. she's the only experienced person in our team and therefore was entrusted to coach us.. she didnt have time to practice on her own.. and because of us.. she had sacrificed the time which caused her to not win anything.. well.. that dealt a heavy blow on me and i was determined to make it up to her..
i thought for a moment.. that was the end of the competition journey for me until not long after.. about two weeks later.. i received another phone call from pearlyn.. the training excutive in kfc.. she told me that a girl from the national team had dropped out due to her commitment to her studies.. so they needed another person to form a 8-man team.. and coincidentally.. i was the 9th person in the ncc competition.. i persuaded my parents alot to let me join the regional champs challenge(rcc) whereby we would be challenging other country's teams.. they finally agreed.. and of course.. i knew myself that the training schedule for this competition would be even more strenuous and mentally-challenging and i had to struggle alot between the training and my studies as well.. promised my mum i would not let her down in my studies because of the training.. but i know deep down.. i will.. the next week.. all the team members met up at our head office board room.. got to know alot about my team and the coach and my impression for yibin also changed.. haha thought he was an arrogant bastard when i saw him in the ncc competition but came to know he was a nice guy!! haha sorry yibin for insulting you!! then i received my monthly planner.. oh jesus! the training was 4-5 times a week! and it even clashed with my cca practices on thursday and friday.. god damn it.. but somehow or rather i managed to attend both trainings.. haha.. soon after another guy was not able to commit himself as well and another guy.. victor came to replace him.. they all told me he was a tough guy to communicate with.. haha.. but somehow.. i found that he was also a nice guy!! haha.. although he's abit flower.. haha.. if you get me.. hehe.. then around august we had an assessment which was to minimised the team players from 8 people to 5 people so that the coaches could concentrate more on us.. amazingly i was one of the top 5.. was glad.. but was shocked to know that there was more to come.. the training was more tedious as the competition draws nearer.. i was already having difficulty trying to struggle with both studies and training.. but i carried on without a word.. didnt have enough sleep as trainings lasted till very late in the night and by the time i reached home.. only my mum stayed up to wait for me.. just imagine.. and thus.. sleeping in class became a routine for me.. till mr quek even came to ask about me.. i had my end of year exams around the corner.. training continued.. i didnt studied much.. somehow.. i managed to scrape through.. but my position still deproved.. and i dropped to second in the level.. thought it would be worse.. so was already kinda glad to be able to get that.. i missed training during my exams and thus when i went back after that.. everyone noticed that i had slacked alot.. but.. the actual competition was just less than a month to go.. both the team member and coach didnt gave face and i got shoot at most of the times.. still remembered.. how ma`am pearlyn scolded me so loudly at singapore poly's kfc supply base area.. that really woke me up and motivated me to strive harder.. and i was pushed further by a mindset that i didnt wanna waste my time just to end up being the reserve and sacrificed so much for my studies.. with my exams over.. i was able to concentrate more on my training.. as this year's competition was held in singapore.. we had an advantage as we were able to train at the competition store.. i could not spend as much time with my friends especially my dear ying shan.. was very glad she understand.. but somehow i still felt that i had own her alot.. very soon.. we were checked into the hotel..
1st Day of Hotel Stay - 31st October 2006
woke up that day to go for a checkup at hougang polyclinic with my dad for obs.. then went home to get my luggage and leave for head office with ma`am pearlyn and her husband.. packed our stuffs and soon headed for the bus.. it was a school bus! so clean!! and i really dunno why they had to book such a big bus when we only had 7 people.. haha.. felt so grand.. when we reached the hotel(Meritus Mandarin Hotel) we were supposed to stay at for 4 days throughout the competition.. we were warmly welcomed by a group of sexy hot cheerleaders.. haha.. sorry ying shan.. i and jerold really couldnt stop talking about them.. haha.. then we went to the 5th floor which is called our maniac center and the place was showered with many lovely things.. haha.. there were all kinds of drinks(pepsi, mineral water, miranda, 7up).. all kinds of potato chips(lays, ruffles, doritos).. and ice creams(magnum, cornetto)!! and the best part of it.. all this were free for us to consume anytime we want!! haha.. then we were given a bag of goodies.. oh so many.. there were shirts, water bottles, watches, souvenirs.. i took alot of cornettos to eat.. haha.. man.. this is heavenly.. then we got our room's card key and soon left for our rooms.. it was a twin sharing room.. and my room mate was victor mei!! hello kitty!! haha.. the room was fabulous and there was a mini bar with all the soft drinks in it.. there was even a bath tub in the toilet!! haha.. my room was connected to the next which was yibin and jerold's room!! haha.. so of cos we left the door open throughout.. we had a few hours of free time for us to get ready for our gala dinner.. i had a wonderful bath in the bath tub.. first time sia.. it was the night of our national pride.. we wore the SIA costume.. the dinner that night was a buffet.. scrumptuous!! we also had a gift exchange with other countries.. yibin got a japanese costume.. i also want!! we were also recognised for participating in the competition.. and we were given gold medals.. after that.. we were all gathered at ma`am's room.. they had to annouce who should be the 4 players to be playing and who's the reserve.. unfortunately.. jerold was the reserve.. but deep inside.. we all know that it was not because he's not good but it was because ma`am had wanted to aim for individual awards.. so jerold had to be dropped.. but no matter wad.. you're still the best ya!! was very tired that night.. so slept very soon after lying on the bed..
2nd Day of Hotel Stay - 1st November 2006
woke up pretty late that day.. then we were treated to a swensen's lunch by ma`am tracy although we had a shopping and meals allowance.. so nice of her.. then our team went to orchard to shop.. this was the hastiest shopping time tt i ever had.. because we needed to buy our stuffs and get back to the hotel in 30 mins!! haha.. but we did managed to get back in time la then we met in our room to practice our cheers.. haha.. so funny.. we used the clothes hanger to hang our singapore flag.. lol.. then we had our free time.. the guys in our team played cards.. jerold was the banker.. ups and downs ya? haha.. tt night.. we went to amk s-11 for our dinner then we went to amk store to take a last look at the lay out.. wow.. there was a tentage set up outside.. there was a pepsi fridge in the store.. there were balloons all around.. haha so cool.. and i finally got to see henny penny.. haha.. was figuring out how to use it.. haha.. then we had a talk with sir yazid at the pizza hut next door.. after that went back to our rooms.. ayu wanted us to try our luck by trying to pick out the positions that we desired.. ayu was the most pressurised as she was reminded of how it had came true for her and anli last year.. she had wanted me to be 1st cook and yibin 2nd cook.. herself to be 1st base and vic to be 2nd base.. and she said it was ok if she was 1st cook and i 2nd cook and yibin became 1st base.. we had a long time playing with the cards.. haha.. slept after that as we rested for the next day's competition..
3rd Day of Hotel Stay - 2nd December
this was the deciding day.. we had trained for 5 months and it all comes down to one day 38 minutes.. we woke up at around 8 o'clock and had our breakfast at chatterbox in the lobby.. had a buffet breakfast.. yummy.. ate alot of junkies.. had stomachache and berak in ma`am's room after that.. haha.. then we brought our stuffs and uniforms and left on a even better bus.. much bigger and cleaner.. haha.. me and jerold joked around again about seeing the cheer leaders sending us off but too bad they were not there.. haha.. we sang alot of songs on the bus.. songs like stand up for singapore and this is my home.. lol.. national day man! we were welcomed by another group of cheer leaders.. led by ma`am shirlyn!! haha.. so hip hop.. then they gave us a chicky toy.. haha.. cute sia.. when we went into the store.. the hong kong team was just performing their cheer.. we went to change into our uniform.. it was a long nervous wait before our turn.. at 12.15 we picked our positions.. and as we had planned.. ayu got 1st cook.. i got 2nd cook.. yibin got 1st base and vic got 2nd base!! omg!! we went high.. haha.. at 12.50 we had our uniform check and cheer.. we were all given a collar pin for participating in the event.. at 12.55.. ma`am tracy went in to do her check.. and on the dot at 1 o'clock.. our play began.. i did cashiering first.. it went very smoothly! not as tough as i thought.. the orders were also pretty easy.. except that i think yibin had a hard time with the fries.. haha.. very soon at the 20th minute.. the whistle was blown to signify a change in position.. i went to take over ayu as the 2nd cook.. she completed!! hurray!! i tried my best to speed up.. and when the final whistle blow.. i only left with cleaning up of the floor.. yeah!! we did a cheer for the judges and went out.. our ma`ams congratulated us and we stayed on to watch and cheer the malaysia team on.. we left around 3 o'clock.. was very anxious with the results but it was time to enjoy first.. i went swimming with jerold at the swimming pool in the hotel.. met up with yibin and victor at 5 to go buy food for that night to celebrate.. before that we went to check on the results of the cheer competition.. we did not won but it was ok.. haha.. we were all deemed to celebrate regardless of the results.. bought chips.. sushis.. beers.. cake.. met with ayu later as she came back from her interview.. she said it was successful! haha.. nice one.. then we went back to our hotel to prepare for the gala nite whereby they would release the results of the competition.. we changed into our formal wears and met up in ma`ams room at 6.45.. we left after that for the ballroom at the hotel's 6th level.. took alot of photos too.. i did the hand wax.. so nice.. but it broke later in the ballroom.. haha.. so sad.. very soon.. it was the time for the dinner as well as the release of results.. had some speeches.. some cheer performances then it was the results.. it was pizza hut first and pizza hut singapore won 3 prizes! both our ma`am were worried that kfc would lose to pizza hut.. haha.. they were all worried.. then it was kfc.. it was the executional excellence awards first.. we did not win anything in the fastest cook category but yibin won a prize in the least wastage category!! yeah.. and next was the most customers served category.. ayu won a prize too!! and when my name was announced.. i was exhilarated!! then next was the most accurate cashier category.. congrats to yibin and ayu for getting your second prize!! then it was pizza hut's turn again.. and in total pizza hut singapore won 8 prizes!! ma`am was worried again.. haha.. then kfc turn.. it was the best cashier category.. ayu won it again!! consecutive 2 years.. 3 cheers for you ayu!! then i was shocked to hear my name too!! it was definitely a bonus for me.. then next was best supply base.. i could see that ah mei was worried as he was the only one who hadnt receive and award.. so when he's name was announce.. i felt happy for him!! haha.. went over to squeeze him haha.. then next was the best cook.. ayu got it!! 4th prize! now she's got all the best in both years.. well done! we were all jumping around.. kfc singapore got 9 awards!! and we made a history.. cos no country has ever won so much before! hip hip hurray!! we stayed on after the dinner to take a few pictures with other countries before going to our rooms to celebrate.. played hand guessing and drank a lil beer.. got stripped again by yibin.. flowered.. and slept early that night.. yibin.. heard you drank alot ah.. not like u eh.. but understood why la.. no worries.. im all behind you..
Last Day of Hotel Stay - 3rd November 2006
woke up late that morning.. was still angry with yibin even though i told vic i was not.. haha.. they had wanted to go to sakura to eat.. but i wasnt able to join them as i had CO.. sorry guys.. and as i packed up and left on the taxi that morning.. i keep thinking of all the tough times we had during training.. all the scoldings.. all the vitamin pills.. haha.. hey guys.. thanks for all the memories..
ma`am pearlyn, thanks for your scolding that day.. it really woke me up.. thanks for fetching me home everytime after training.. thanks for taking the effort to buy us breakfast during our weekend trainings.. thanks for all the vitamin pills..
ma`am tracy, thanks for being so patient with me.. for always talking so nicely to me.. haha.. for giving me advices.. thanks for always making time to train us even when you are sick.. thanks for all the vitamin pills..
sir royce, thanks for taking time to train us whenever you could..
sir kannan, sir irvin, thanks for always waking up so early to open up the store to let us train and giving us advices to improve..
sir yazid, thanks for writing the excuse letter for me.. thanks for all the encouraging words and for the pizzas you treated us to..
vincent, for accompanying me home in the taxi after trainings..
liza, for being a great encourgaement.. you shouting had improved my cook.. haha
jerold, for being such a nice bro.. for helping and giving me guidance throughout the trainings.. for treating me to play pool.. for sharing so much common interest together.. cheer leaders hoo!! and for your information.. i still remember how we splashed water at each other in singapore poly's kfc.. haha..
victor, for adoring me with you signature hello kitty looks.. for encouraging me to work hard.. for being my room mate.. for letting me pinch and squeeze you without retaliating.. for accompanying me around whenever i needed an accompanion..
sherard, thanks for being such a strong encouraging factor and for your advices.. without you i couldnt get all that awards.. it all goes to you.. thanks also for the massages.. and a big thanks for injuring my toe! and tearing up my pants!! haha..
ayu, thanks for coaching me and sacrificing ur own time.. thanks for being such a big sister to me.. thanks for your encouraging words during all the trainings.. know you wanted me to work hard.. hope i didnt dissapoint you!
everyone.. thanks for all the lovely memories..
the journey continues..
just so you know ! 3:02 PM